By RUSS BENGTSON
(June 1994, Big Shout Magazine)

Lying around the office, we have a handy book called The CD World Reference Guide, which lists pretty much every CD (up to 1993) made in the U.S., Canada, the U.K., Germany and Japan.

Not only is this useful if you want to find out if a disc is still in print or if you want to see how many Miles Davis albums there are (a lot, trust me), but it can be enlightening. While skimming through it one rainy Thursday, we came across and compiled a list of what we feel are some of the WORST BAND NAMES OF ALL TIME. Remember, not only are these actual names of actual bands, these creatures all have CDs out and on the market. Read it and weep. You may recognize some of the offenders. (Note: we only had room for the bands up to the letter “F”).

• Aardvark
• Abrasive Wheels
• Acid Drinkers
• Action Swingers
• Adrenalin Kick
• Affirmative Action
• Aggressive Dogs
• Algebra Suicide
• Amazing Colossal Men
• Anastasia Screamed
• Angel in Heavy Spirit
• Angels from Angle City
• Angles of Epistemology
• Angina Pectoris
• Angry Samoans
• Animal Audio Parts
• Animal Nightlife
• Answered Questions
• Antrobus & The Flying Hat Band
• Aqua Fragile
• Arson Garden
• Ass Ponies
• Associated Heap
• Atomic Rooster
• Audio Afterbirth
• Available Jelly
• Babe The Blue Ox
• Baby-sitters Club
• Babysex
• Bad Days in June
• Bad Dream Fancy Dress
• Bad Habitz
• Bad Livers
• Bad Messiah
• Bad News Reunion
• Bad Timings
• Bad Yodelers
• Balcony Dogs
• Balistyx
• Bambi Slam
• Barbecue Bob
• Barbie Bones
• Bare Bobby
• Barenaked Ladies
• Barking Tribe
• Battered Ornaments
• Beasts of Bourbon
• Beat Cream
• Beatles Rot
• Because
• Befour Three O’clock
• Bellybutton and Knockwells
• Bicycle Face
• Big Barn Burning
• Big Bub
• Big Car
• Big Catholic Guilt
• Big Drill Car
• Big Fish Ensemble
• Big Poo Generator
• Birth Control
• Blasphereion
• Blazing Redheads
• Blimp Club
• Blood-Thirsty Butchers
• Blossom Toes
• Blow Monkeys
• Blue Mercedes
• Boghandle
• Bollweevils
• Bomb Everything
• Bootsauce
• Boss Hog
• Boxhamsters
• Boy on a Dolphin
• Bratmobile
• Brick Chair
• Brick Flower
• Brick Layer Cake
• Brick’s Tone
• Brilliant Corners
• Broken Glass
• Brother Virus
• Brotherhood of Lizards
• Brothers Uv The Blakmarket
• Brutal Obscenity
• Burning Rain
• Bushmen Don’t Surf
• Buttocks
• Buttsteak
• C Cat Trance
• Cancer
• Candy Skins
• Cruel Shoes
• Cleaners from Venus
• Crucifucks
• Dark Ducks
• Dead Famous People
• Deep Freeze Mice
• Devils Wielding Scimitars
• Dog Faced Hermans
• Dr. Dead & Splatter All-Stars
• Dry Branch Fire Squad
• Ed’s Redeeming Qualities
• Edsel Auctioneer
• Electric Ferrets
• Electric Prunes
• Emotional Fish
• Erotic Jesus
• Creaming Jesus
• Drunks With Guns
• E-I-E-I-O
• Exploding White Mice
• Eyeless in Gaza
• Eyes of the Nightmare Jungle
• Fat Mattress
• Fearless Iranians From Hell
• Flux of Pink Indians