By GREGG KIRK

(March 1989 Big Shout Magazine)

There seems to be a growing trend in the Delaware Valley about how one forms a postpunk/new wave band.

First, you think of the name of the band. Then you form it with a couple of your friends who happen to be art school drop-outs just like you. Soon you begin thinking about a few concepts that anger you, and you write them down. After all these things have been accomplished, you learn to play your instruments.

Several weeks later, you get your first gig at the local bar and grill, pizza parlor, hole-in-the-wall, or fraternity party. You play all f your songs at a deafening level and at breakneck speed. When you’re finished, you realize you’ve only been playing for 15 minutes so you do several different versions of “Born to Be Wild.”

Three weeks later, the band breaks up.

One band who has survived this rigorous schedule and is still together to tell about it is the Philly-based Uptown Bones. What started out as an idea in the Temple dorms in the fall of 1986 has become a full-fledged alternative band to be reckoned with. And a lot of people are taking them seriously.

The funny thing is, however, the above band recipe almost describes Uptown Bones’ history to the letter. Guitarist Andy, guitarist/vocalist Rich, drummer Noel and a fourth member named Scooter (who played bass but who has since moved to Detroit) all banded together with an idea even before they had acquired any musical ability.

They wrote a few songs together and played their first opening gig at Bacchanal on South Street. Where they departed from the rest of the story is in its ending. Uptown Bones did not have to play several versions of a tired cover song to stay onstage. Most of all, they did not break up after three weeks. And another thing, they were good.

Amazingly good. In fact, it’s difficult to believe that they just picked up their instruments on a whim a little over three years ago. The audience at Bacchanal was whipped into a frenzy, and several bookings have stemmed from this single appearance. According to the band, they have never actively solicited a booking in their short history.

To their credit they have played at Revival, West Side Club, Bacchanal, West Coatesville Fire Hall, Oliver J’s, Raul’s Place, Tops, Hamilton Court and have had regular monthly bookings at Khyber Pass since their first date there. Perhaps the most remarkable gig of all is their appearance as a float in the Kutztown Halloween parade two years ago. The band actually played a live set of their own music as they were wheeled through the parade. According to Noel, the band will never do it again although he wouldn’t specify why.

Things moved along for these guys rather swimmingly until Scooter the bass player left. The void was quickly filled by current bassist Art who was instrumental in steering the band towards their first recorded product.

“I knew a guy named Steve Maglio, who used to play in The Balls, and he had a 12-track studio in his house,” said Art. “He gave us a great deal and that’s where we recorded our first demo.”

Last month, the band returned to the same studio and completed an eight-song demo of more polished material. So far, they haven’t released any of this material to the public, but Rich noted that the band has plans to commit several song to vinyl this summer.

So what does the band stand for, and what angry message do they wish to get across to their audience?

“We don’t have a message,” said Art. “We’re not Scram. We just start our songs with a couple of guitar chords from Rich, and we try to arrange the song around the chords. We don’t try to sound like anyone.”

“We’re not going to change the world,” interjected Andy. “So there’s no sense in trying.”

“Our message is: ‘Get drunk and watch us play,'” laughed Noel. “No, don’t put that. Say, ‘Just come out and see us play.'”

Actually, Noel’s suggestion isn’t such a bad one. As those who have seen the band live know, each Uptown Bones show is never like the last. In an appearance last month at the Khyber Pass, the band went so far as to dabble in multi-media. Holographic glasses were issued at the door, and the band played the entire show from behind a sheet that stretched across the stage. Lights were shone from behind them to project their silhouettes, and slide projected images were beamed on the front of the sheet. The band seemed to think the show was a success and plans to try the idea again.

As far as their sound, the only influence the band would freely admit to is Donovan, but the members have no doubt been subjected to heavy doses of R.E.M. and the Replacements as traces of them tend to creep into the structure of their songs. That’s okay, they’ll never be called an R.E.M. rip-ff band because Michael Stipe never screamed like a banshee as Rich does to add emphasis on several of their tunes.

The highlights of their eight-song demo are the driving “Flowers Fall,” (which contains a badass rock scream from Rich) and “Beautiful.” The latter begins with a cheesy-sounding keyboard part that eventually makes way for a driving bass and drum rhythm that recalls early Cream. This point is driven home by the “Strange Brew”-sounding vocals.

For the most part, the repertoire consists of guitar-based rhythms built on one jangly guitar and one grunge-coated guitar with basswork that brings to mind John Entwhistle because of its busyness and high end. The drums drive a straight path through this mire to keep the semblance of a pop feel.

It’s not pop, though. It’s definitely postpunk. And you’ll probably like it if you’re open minded.

If you’re not, then the band may have a bone to pick with you. According to the consensus among the band members, the whole Philly entertainment scene is uptight and closed-minded, which has directly caused bands like Uptown Bones to play less and get little press.

“The Philly scene is too uptight and prejudiced,” said Art. “I don’t think the business end should be as important as it is to some people. There aren’t that many places to play, either. You can’t say that the Chestnut Cabaret and the Trocadero are places to play because it’s so hard to get in there.”

As far as their future goes, the band hopes to start playing more out-of-state gigs which would involve a small tour. For now, Uptown Bones can be caught live at Nick’s on 4th & South Streets on March 24, Bacchanal on March 22, and Thursday, March 9 at Khyber Pass for Big Shout’s first monthly Big Shout Showcase.